on 2 april 2011. i already left jakarta,leave all my work,my friends in stin,my friends in church and all comfort and go not far just 1hour 45 minutes by plane to padang city and finally accompany my husband forever. after arrive in airport,my beloved husband already in there and with his smiling face take my hand and take me to his motorcylce which is his give name 'simon'. i bring 2 bag with me as my temporary belonging before my own box deliver to padang by forwarding company.
as my own know,i have a less skill as a good wife. i have a box of standart as a perfect wife nd i admitted to that kind of standart. i can not cooked by myself,not to wash my clothes because i have laundry,and usually not clean the dormitory everyday. i ussually wake up everyday as my own sake and do anything without thingking everyone needed. i ussually go to church every day at 6 pm and eat all that i want,which is all meals without vegetables on it and finally i came to padang and my life is change 360 degree without mercy.
in 2nd week of april, i learn,watch all the things. i learn how to iron my husband clothes perfectly and im not good at it until now. i can not use my own techniques which is a slump ironing techniques. for the first time, i against and not willing to do it and asking the reason for that perfect ironing. but, now i can accept it and back to my standart of good wife that i admit to do it. also, i learn to cook "tumis sayuran" and prepare the cooked on 5 am as my husband lunch, and prepare breakfast. after he go to work, i take the garbage in front off my street and start to clean my dishes,and prepare washing clothes,watching television and ironing after that chating and use facebook or brwsing all cooking menu and next prepare my husband dinner and all this stuff,take a lot of energy of mine. all is turning a new life for me and contradiction of my previous habit.every work that i done, i have my own struggle. why i do this. can i just relax all day without thinking cooking. is that all life is food focus? how to raise my mood to do all the wife do. what my desire,what my expectation for my own, what Jesus want me to do, how to make boring gone, almost half of my day is occupied by silence and only voice come from my samsung tab, my television.
this is already 3 weeks,im in padang,seldom to out of my house,and sadly i talk to myself. im not crazy right? hehehe, sometimes i want to go to new challenge,go abroad,go to outside and involve to many of activity. but, thats only my imagination,that is impossible to do now. im not the same as i was. im not as free as i was. for now,all my movement,all my thingking is just my family focus on. my path is long long path, and i feel heavy in the beginning and hopefully as God comfort me, i can find my own path and found my own desire. Lord, im your servant. i not know how to do it,give me strength and wisdom and protect me from evil that everyday temptated me into tempatation and make me useless and miserable. God,mercy on me and give your llight so i can see clearly your mighty on me. oh Lord cover me in you heart,so i can feel safe and beloved by You oh mymighy Lord. Lord, i beg you to find me and see my heart. Praise you name Lord Yesus Christ. amen.
Komentar
Posting Komentar